Shopping, AGAIN??!?

Mom took me to the mall this afternoon. She needed to buy a dress for some weddings that she and Dad are going to and she needed to get a new bottle holder for my diaper bag. Of course, just like a woman, she goes to the mall for 2 things and ends up with bags and bags of stuff. I can't complain too much - Mom has scouted out all of the cool places to feed and change me comfortably and I do not mind mingling among the peasants.

Tonight we went to communal dinner at Krikitt Downs. I saw my girlfriend Mirabelle again. She's pretty cute with her new haircut. For dinner, mom made some dates wrapped in bacon. I heard they were yummy, but I'm not allowed to have any yet. Boo! I'd gain weight so much faster if I could eat bacon. Mmmmm.... bacon.

We played with stickers after dinner. In the end I think we had lost one sticker. I wonder where it went...

Shopping with Mom & Grandma

Grandma and Mom took me shopping. Holy cow, can they shop! I ended up with 8 million new outfits. They are definitely trying to metrosexualize me. Ain't gonna happen, dictators are not metrosexual. Unless you count Kim Jong-il, that guy watches too much Queer Eye.

Mom complained that boys' clothes were not made of lightweight fabric. I agree, that heavy stuff really sucks in the middle of this heat wave. Despite her complaints, she bought me a sweater. Mom, make up your mind about that whole heavy vs. light thing! I refuse to wear that sweater until at least November.

On Saturday we went to see Nacho Libre at the drive-in. Mom & Dad brought a picnic dinner and some wine. Drinking at the movies! They were giddy like they were sneaking Jack&coke into the movies in high school.

Wednesday night I slept 6+ hours. In a row. Party time! At this rate, I will be sleeping 24 hours straight in about 5 months.

Here's me helping Dad write his SAT solver while wearing one of my new outfits. My help mostly takes the form of inspirational tongue-sucking and whacking the laptop occasionally with my head.

Happy Father's Day!

My Dad is awesome! So for Father's Day, I got dressed up in my red polo shirt (not Ralph Lauren, so I can puke on it) and I took Dad out to eat steak and drink wine. I picked out the resturant and made the reservations all by myself. I did have to solicit Mom's help when the lady manning the phone at the reservation desk kept hanging up on me. Apparently, she did not speak baby.
Despite the lanuage difference, I mannaged to pick the wine; a lovely cab blend, 2002 vintage from Lancaster Estate located in the Alexander Valley region of Sonoma. Its nice that they have already named a wine producing region after me. After I take over the world, all wine will me named after me! Mom, Dad, and I had a grand old time. We got totally wasted...
Mom and Dad also upgraded my stroller from bassinet to stroller mode. I drove the stroller to downtown for lunch. Mom thought I was so cute, she put me in the stroller for a photo-op. As soon as she turned around to grab the camera, I puked. HaHaHa! Mom didn't laugh. Baby humor is lost on some people.

Eliza, you are dead to me

Remember my post about the female conspiracy? Well, I think I've determined their nefarious leader. Her name is Eliza. She was the nameless nurse who gave me my Hep B #2 shot at my last doctor's visit. Well, I saw her again today and got her name off of her badge. I was just running to the phone to call the FBI organized crime unit when she nabbed me, pinned me down, and gave me 4 more shots. 4 shots!!! Plus a nasty-tasting oral vaccine! What the hell! You ladies really have it in for me. Or maybe your nefarious leader Eliza is out of control and waging a personal vendetta against me. For all of your ladies' sakes, I hope it is the latter. I don't want to have to send you all to Gitmo.

By the way, the 4 shots were for IPV #1(Polio), DTaP #1(Diptheria, Tetanus, Pertusis), HIB #1 (Haemophilis), Prevnar #1 (Pneumococus), plus an oral vaccine for Rotavirus.

On the plus side, doc says I'm growing fine. I'm not sure I trust his judgement, though. He claimed that my head is below average. I can't see how that is possible, my head is huge. If he is right, I feel sorry for those babies who are above average.

My huge head

Today I worked on overcoming gravity. Easy, you say? Not with my abnormally large head. Here's some things that people have said about my head:

"Look at the size of that boy's heed. I'm not kidding. It's like an orange on a toothpick. That's a huge noggin'. It has its own weather system. It's a virtual planetoid."

Well, I'll show them! Look - I can lift my head! At least, when the 'rents position my arms under my torso just right.
Note that I stick my tongue out when concentrating, a definite hereditary trait. Also of note, my right arm is stronger than the left, much to Dad's dismay.

I can also attempt crawling, but it isn't very successful. I haven't figured out how to swing my arms forward, so I just fall forward onto my chest with my arms back behind me. I've got a neat little pillow to help me out, so I can almost crawl around on slippery surfaces.
Unfortunately, sometimes gravity gets the better of my giant head and I end up face-planted:
Oops! To take over the world, I'm definitely going to need one of those levitation things that Baron Harkonen had in Dune.

Danger this week

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, my parents and I have been very busy this week.

I went to track practice on Tuesday. Mom ran a whole mile, a post-partem record. While she was away running, Mark (Mirabelle's dad) used me as a sock puppet. Needless to say, I was not amused. I think he does this to Mirabelle all the time. Boy, will she end up twisted.

In other news, the microwave managed to melt some of my bottles.
Unclear exactly what happened, but the result looks like a Dali painting. Fortunately, Mom and Dad had just bought some larger bottles for me. I won't be starving any time soon.

Here I am with my cousin Jennica. She came over to play after her school graduation.

Child Labor

Mom took me to work today. I had to help file papers. Doesn't she know that I can't read yet?!?! I can't even hold a peice of paper yet!! And what about papercuts?? I could get a papercut! And then where would that leave me?!?! No one respects the orders of someone with a Sponge Bob Square Pants band-aid on his finger.

Paperwork skills are useless to me - no one ever took over the world in a "coup-de-paperwork". Some say the pen is mightier than the sword, but I have yet to see a pen win that head-to-head combat.

On the lighter side:
Yesterday, Mom & Dad brought me to the town picnic. It was quite a spread! Besides the games, magic show, and the ole' timey band, there were barbeque chickens and hot dogs, all sorts of sides, huge ice cream sundaes, and beer & wine that came in a take-home glass mug. All for free! Mom encouraged Dad to eat his share of the taxes that made the shin-dig possible.
Mom was happy to take the my new wheels out for a spin to the picnic. She got me a jogging stroller - a bright yellow jogging stroller named B.O.B. I like B.O.B. , but you would not have known it by the way I screamed like a banshee all the way to the picnic!

In developmental news:
I slept for 6 hours straight! Mom and Dad were ecstatic.

'Boo and I

'Boo is a comfy pillow. Kinda like a furry purring Boppy. Or a Tribble with claws.

'Boo likes to leave his hair everywhere, especially on my binkies and bottle nipples. Not so tasty. I've swallowed enough hair that I just might surprise Mom & Dad with a hairball in my spitup.

I'm very close to outweighing 'Boo. He's only 10lbs 9oz, and I just broke 10lbs. Soon I will have a minion to command...

Weirdos in Spades

Mom & Dad took me to the post office today to apply for my passport. I thought that the only weirdos at the post office worked behind the counter. Apparently, the customers can be just as strange. First, there was this little old lady who was not in line and was not doing anything at the post office except talking to little kids and their parents. My parents just indulged her and gave out my stats (6 weeks, 10 pounds, does not sleep through night, etc...). Second weirdo was a guy standing in line behind us recalling a time when he lost his passport and was sent to quarantine. Mom was ready to whip out the hand sanitizer and wash me down with it. The last (noticably) crazy person was a lady who wore a scarf around her neck like a cape and blue eyeshadow from her cheekbone to her eyebrow. She ordered one of every available service from the post office, all for one package. I bet she was mailing it to her imaginary friend.

I guess I'm going to need a passport to achieve world domination. Good thing I can manipulate my parents to get stuff like this done for me while the world is still unsuspecting.

Tonight we're getting all dressed up to hang out with some of Dad's college friends. I'm looking super-cute in a polo shirt and the requisite huge pants.

Here I am imitating the crazy lady from the post office: