Check out my hot new girlfriend Mirabelle:
The relationship is going really quickly; we're already sleeping together. I hope my parents don't find out. I'll get in trouble because she's an older woman. Sweet, sweet May-December romance. But more exactly, a March-April romance.
In other news, my plans for conquering the world are progressing slowly. Step 1, check. Step 2, tougher than I thought. My parents think I might win a Darwin award. I've got to step up, commanders march on their stomachs as much as armies do.
I got some swag for when you're all bowing down before me:
For all of your sakes, you'd better hope that the "Benevolent" part is accurate. Maybe you're already in trouble. In this picture I'm barking out some very non-benevolent commands to the 'rents.
Lots of visitors came by today. Peasants ingratiating themselves with their future leader. I can't say I blame them. Someone has to be put in places of power in the coming administration, might as well be people who tickled me and said "goo goo".